On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
