you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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