if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
honey bunches of taint.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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