dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Randomize
