This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
