See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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