you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
