I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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