Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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