Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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