So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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