the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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