Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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