Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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