I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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