Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
