He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
