sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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