Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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