I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize