Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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