im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He passed out mid-signature
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Randomize
