vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize