Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
