is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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