the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
