Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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