Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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