Don't make out with my wife yet
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
