p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
