my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
