i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
