I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i need an iv and a liver transplant
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize