all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
