sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Someone came in the potted fern
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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