Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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