All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
