Where did you get a picture of my penis
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
