New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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