I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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