come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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