So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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