3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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