$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize