Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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