I'd wear matching sweaters with you
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
