Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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