toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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