Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
