in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
