just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You ate ashes out of my bong
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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