dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
