my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
