dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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