Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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