Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?

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(614): View more from Ohio

This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?

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(518): View more from New York

Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play

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(248): View more from Michigan

i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?

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