Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm passing your future prison.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
