yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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