The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
