Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
