I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
