This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
