he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
